Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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