We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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