im having a threesome with these popsicles
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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