It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
