is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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