people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize