I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
