Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
