My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
