I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
