Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
