We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
