Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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