Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
