Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
