I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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