how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
