Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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