The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize