She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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