Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize