love makes seman taste better
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize