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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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