I'm eating all of the evidence.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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