READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
