After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
