Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
