I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
