Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize