'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
