chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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