last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
