fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
well you can't waste a boner
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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