Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
