if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
