Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize