and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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