Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
we should paint friendship bongs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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