he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
