If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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