I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
