oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
