why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize