Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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