the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
