I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
