I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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