butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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