He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
