She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
