I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
