Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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