Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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