There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
