I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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