VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
