Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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