I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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