On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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