The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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