I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My cat gives me a boner
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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