Little spoons don't ask big questions
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
